Suddenly, as tho almost overnight, I lost access to my kids, and I found myself at the lowest point in my life. It just happened less than two years ago, in August of 2018.
I still remember the wild and uncontrollable urge to see them, to smell their hair, to dig in with my noise into their somewhat sweaty warm necks, to hug them so hard to the point they start pushing me away and try to escape.
To those who may not know, I have two adorable daughters, the oldest is Samina (7 y/o), and the youngest is Amina (4 y/o).
Although my business was doing fine back then, and my health was o.k., my personal life was a complete wreck. One of the major pillars of my life has trembled.
It felt like I had an uncontrollable tornado, chaos inside of me, which, regardless of how hard I tried to suppress, I wasn’t able to calm. It seemed like I became a ship that suddenly lost its GPS and now selling into nowhere with its only purpose of staying afloat.
Fast forward less than two years, and now my relationship with the kids is stronger than ever before, my relationship with my wife is at the turning point where we are finally starting to understand each other.
My companies are doing very well and just underwent the Covid-19 stress-test of running without me for three and a half months like a well-oiled machine.
How was I able to come out of this deep and dark hole?
How did this guy with lost cause now reinvent his life’s mission of serving? How could I not only get back to my feet yet also transition into someone better and stronger?
If you are still reading this, most likely you are experiencing or have experienced the same feelings. I want to share the only thing that I did, which started to completely transform my life — the only thing you need to do to start seeing the positive changes.
Here is it; I got very selective with those who are in my ears day in and day out. I ended up completely restructuring my circle of “friends” and everyone else around me.
As great Jim Rohn said – “You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with”
The moment I start cutting out the envious and jealous people from my life, things slowly started to shift. I began to find myself surrounded by givers, not takers, with ethical, ambitious, and, most importantly, happy people. I started to receive the right advice, the advice which is truly right and best FOR me, not for them.
How can you do it? By starting to change yourself. Have a clear vision and picture, an avatar if you will, in your head who you would like to become. Envision it; smell it, feel it, touch it. Daily.
Become similar to those who you want to surround yourself with. Achieve personal growth by working on yourself; your knowledge and motivations/drive, feed your ambitions, calm down your spirit through meditation and/or religion, while not ignoring your physical health, this is the temple in which we live.
If you haven’t done so yet, I recommend picking up Miracle Morning Millionaires by Hal Elrod. It’s a great book with practical steps explaining how to structure the very first hour of your day so that you can start taking the control back from life itself.
You may ask how to recognize the bad noise from the good one?
What should I be looking out for to identify those who may drag and slow me down from those who would do the opposite?
Here are Seven not so obvious, although basic and even small things, you may start paying attention to in others’ behaviors;
- Are people around you loud and obnoxious when you are having an important conversation? Or are they considerable to the point that they can quiet themselves down and/or walk away from the room, giving you the space to hash things out?
- Are they talking sweet in your face and talking bad behind you? Or would they rather speak bitterly in your face and defend you to death when you are not around?
- Are they pulling you down with endless favors, or are they pushing and lifting you by guiding you to become a better version of yourself?
- Can you trust them with your fears and secrets and know they will safeguard them?
- Are they hanging out with you because of the monetary or other selfish reasons?
- Will they be there for you when you may absolutely need them?
- Are they envious because of your success and achievements, or are they exited and cheering FOR your success?
During the pandemic, most of us now have more time in our hands than we ever had before. Now is the perfect time to do the self analyses and to take the inventory. Be honest with your assessment as your life and your future will depend on it.
These are the sort of things we also discuss in the Green Cleaning Association (GCA). We don’t just talk about the business and environmental strategies but also the mindset. We discuss the holistic approach to be truly successful.
Strive to surround yourself with ambitious, successful, and intelligent people. This way, you will have someone to look up to, someone to compete with, in a healthy manner, someone to grow with together.
Naturally, a question may raise, do I have to get rid of the old connection now that I have the new ones?
Of course not, yet start hanging out more with those who bring in the good vibes, the positive energy, the enlightenment, and push YOU to conquer new heights. In time, you will find yourself slowly gravitating to them and seeing how your life and your future are starting to shift.